How to be HAPPY when Life Feels HARD

Have you ever had a case of the doldrums? A time when you felt off, not like yourself and life feels hard? Maybe you can’t even remember what brings you joy! This happens to everyone from time to time. This post covers my strategy for how to be happy by focusing on the things that bring you the most JOY.

While we cannot always control our environment or the choices of people around us, we CAN control our reactions and what we choose to focus on.

Some days it feels easy to find joy, while other days it can be much more difficult. There are so many reasons why we can feel down-in-the-dumps, and sometimes we may not even know the reason. It could be several rainy days in a row, dreading an unpleasant event, missing a loved one, stress, exhaustion from the daily grind, long-term illnesses, or many other reasons. Whatever the reason, we can learn how to be happy to the best of our ability.

I want to make sure I am clear that I am not a medical professional. Please seek professional help if you have any ongoing feelings of hopelessness or depression.

Learning Target: You will learn how to recognize experiences and feelings that make you happy. You will record these items on your Joy List, which will then provide you with ideas to refer back to when you are feeling down.

Using Your 5 Senses to Make Your JOY List

Every part of our environment affects the way we feel. The sights, smells, and sounds. What we eat and drink. The things we touch. By first paying attention to what makes us happy, we are able to create a comprehensive list to refer back to when we need a pick-me-up.

Quick Joys:

Quick Joys are things or experiences that we can access easily. The items that are always nearby. Things we can do from almost anywhere. It is important to have items on our list that we can do immediately.

Here are some examples of Quick Joys:

Stepping out into nature for a walk
Drinking a delicious cup of coffee
Calling or texting a friend
Listening to your favorite music
Lighting a candle or diffusing essential oils
Cooking one of your favorite foods
Taking a bubble bath
Wearing a favorite outfit
Reading an inspirational quote or Bible verse
Hugging a loved one
Watching a funny video or movie
Spending time with your pet

When you are in a state of gloom, choose several items from your Quick Joys list and do them right away (if possible). You can continue to move down your list as time allows. Notice how you feel as you experience the things that bring you joy.

Are you starting to feel better? I hope so!

Quick joys are great because of just that – they are quick and relatively easy. It is important to have many items on our list that are accessible anytime and anywhere. If the only thing that brings us joy is being on the beach in Hawaii, we will have a hard time making it through most of our days. Unless you live by a beach in Hawaii. If you do, good for you, we’re all jealous 🙂

We also want to think about the things that take more time or effort to achieve, but bring us a lot of joy. As stated before, we still want to think through the lens of our five senses. This brings us to the category of “Awaiting Joys”.

Awaiting Joys:

Awaiting joys are experiences or places that we love, but take a little planning. They are not possible at any moment of any day, but the things we look forward to. It could be sometime soon, or months away.

Here are some examples of Awaiting Joys:

Vacation – any type that you look forward to
Dinner date with significant other and/or friends
Planning a fun event – birthday/anniversary
Event of a loved one – wedding/birthday/party
Planning your garden/flower beds for the next season
Scheduling a massage/manicure/pedicure/facial
Anticipating a new season of a favorite show or a sequel to a movie
Holiday traditions
Planning for a remodel in your home
Anticipating the birth of a child
Thinking about a favorite food you are going to have soon
Looking forward to new growth and blossoms in the Spring

These are all things that take some time, planning and may also require money. When we think and plan for these types of events, we feel joy in the planning. The anticipation can be almost as exciting as the actual event!

When working on how to be happy, it is important to include both Quick Joys and Awaiting Joys on our list.

Here is the printable I made to record your list. You can take a screenshot and keep this on your phone, download it onto your computer, or print it out and write your list! The most important part is keeping this list handy when you need it.

If you wait until you are in the middle of a case of a funk, it is very difficult to think of things that bring you joy. Everything seems hard, nothing sounds enjoyable, and you end up flailing around, not knowing what to do. By making your Joy List, you will be prepared when you are having a rough day.

We All Have Rough Days

By making and implementing a Joy List, you will not be immune to feeling sad, mad, or frustrated. I know, I wish we could! We all have days like this, and it is important to acknowledge our feelings and try to pinpoint the cause. It is okay to feel sad, mad, or any other “negative” type of emotion. This is a natural part of life that we all experience.

The important thing is not to wallow in these feelings. We can feel them, acknowledge them, then try our best to look around us and find things to be grateful for. Your Joy List is a great place to start when you are feeling down and having a difficult time finding things to make you happy.

How to Use Your Joy List

Take a screenshot or print the template
Write down Quick Joys and Awaiting Joys that come to mind right away
Refer back to this list often, continuing to add items as you notice them
When feeling down, choose at least 3 items from your Quick Joys list and do them immediately. Choose at least one item on your Awaiting Joys list and begin planning or thinking about this item.
Revise your list often!

Finally, this can be used with children too! It is a great way to begin helping kids notice how they feel at different times. Anyone can and should make a Joy List!